7 Days in Hell
by Tsukiria
Summary: Whereby a misunderstanding envelopes two unsuspecting exorcists into an entire week of pure torment. And all because of a mere question posed by a random finder too - "Why is Lavi-san the only one Kanda-dono allows to get close to him?"
1. Chapter 1: Awareness

Title: 7 days in Hell

Pairings: Rabiyuu, potential AllenLenalee(?)

Disclaimer: D gray man ain't mine... The original concept/template of this sorta fics is owned by dreaming.critter (is that how you spell it?)...

* * *

DAY 1: Sunday

Awareness

--

The day started off normally enough.

Like any other day, Allen could be seen at his usual table, gobbling down his piles of food with extreme gusto. Lenalee was sitting by him, laughing awkwardly at the sight, eyeing Allen somewhat warily as she ate her own breakfast daintily. Lavi was there as well, grinning away as he made a random teasing comment at Allen before tucking into the food laid out before him. About them, the cheerful chatters of the morning crowd carried on as usual, people smiling and waving as they greeted each other and settled down to eat.

All normality was smashed, however, when the great doors of the cafeteria were slammed open.

Hushed silence immediately fell upon the people like a thick veil as a raven-haired figure strode in angrily, making his grand entrance with a nervous finder trailing in his wake. There was silence, except for the sharp click-clack of exorcist boots, and the weight of all the gazes of the residents instantly and instinctively fell upon the two which entered.

Kanda immediately bristled. Whirling around, he snapped.

"What?!"

The finder behind him jumped visibly in alarm before making himself scarce, and there seemed to be a well-chorused crick of necks before the chatter resumed tentatively, every head in the room immediately whipping back to breakfast on the table.

All except one, that is.

Sighing, with a relaxed smile gracing his features, a certain redhead pushed himself up to stand. As he strolled to the pissed samurai's side, the expected vein popped up on the reticent Japanese's temple. The Bookman apprentice had to control himself from laughing outright, looking at a pale hand being forcibly restrained from convulsing around Mugen's hilt –all for the sake of an arm being slung over a shoulder too familiarly.

A casual comment, a harsh retort, a non-committal whine – and the duo were off, Lavi chuckling slightly as Kanda cursed under his breath.

It was only then did the voices resume their usual volume, knowing that the worse was over. As the finder from before went to his friends who welcomed him back with open arms ("Man, you actually came out alive from a mission with HIM?"), he gave a backwards glance at the two exorcists who were now bickering lightly, before voicing a question every finder (and exorcist as well) had never really registered.

"Why is Lavi-san the only one Kanda-dono allows to get close to him?"

There was a contemplative silence as the finders regarded each other, the truth of that seemingly-innocent observation sinking in only then. A pause, and then…

"Now that I think about it…," a finder murmured, frowning slightly.

"Those two _are_ pretty friendly…"

Several nods, and then--

"Kanda has always had more tolerance for Lavi too, did you notice?…"

"And Lavi's the only one Kanda-san holds a decent conversation with without blowing up…"

"And ain't Lavi also the only one who is able to get away with calling Kanda by his first name?" one chirped up enthusiastically, blinking.

"Not to mention that Lavi-san has always been able to get away with annoying Kanda-san…," another trailed off.

"Also, Lavi-san seems to be the only one who can quite quell Kanda-san's murderous intentions…"

"But Lenalee-san?"

"Kanda-dono doesn't hit girls, remember? Lavi-san's the only guy…"

"That's true…but…"

"You don't think…"

"It can't be, can it?"

"…"

"No, I'm certain of it! To think it took us _this_ long…"

Allen blinked, looking up as Lenalee met his shocked expression with her equally aghast one.

"Kanda and Lavi _WHAT_?!"

--

Along the corridor, said two exorcists sneezed – rather on cue, rather simultaneously, and rather violently.

"Ah…," Lavi sniffed, rubbing at his nose. "Perhaps we are starting to get the flu…?"

"More like you've fallen sick with the idiot syndrome and passed it to me… Oh wait, I forgot, you already _are_ one."

Lavi immediately halted in his tracks to pout in mock-hurt, whining when his friend showed no signs of slowing down to wait for him.

"Mou… Yuu teba!"

--

Meanwhile, whilst the two were happily (and perhaps one not-so-happily) ignorant, the conversation which took place in the dining hall seemed to rage from one corner of the tower to the other. It was rather unnerving; given the speed it took for the entire tower to be aware of and gossiping.

By the end of the day, it was official.

Lavi and Kanda were dating.

And only the only two exorcists concerned were unaware.

-End Day 1-


	2. Chapter 2: Role Reversal

****

Title: 7 days in Hell

Pairings: Rabiyuu, potential AllenLenalee(?)

Disclaimer: D gray man ain't mine... The original concept/template of this sorta fics is owned by dreaming.critter (is that how you spell it?)...

--

DAY 2: Monday

Role Reversal.

--

It was, by far, the queerest day Kanda had ever had.

People from all around him kept giving him odd glances wherever he went, and--

--was it just him, or were they much louder when he got closer?

Whatever it was, it was starting to get on his nerves greatly. The day was a complete wreck, seeing how his soba had been vandalized by the head chef who had decorated it with little, edible _hearts _(something about celebrating someone's stupid romance), how Allen (that _damned_ Moyashi) was grinning knowingly at him from around bends, how Miranda had yelped upon seeing him before flushing horribly (By the Gods, what the hell did he do to warrant such?). Then there was the way Lenalee was behaving unnaturally giggly…

But of all those, nothing – absolutely _nothing_ – could beat the encounter with his Master.

_Nothing_ at _all_.

He had been minding his own business (like he always was), walking back from training, only to find himself practically wrenched off his feet and carried off quickly by a rather flustered Chaoji. Before he could even register what the _fuck_ was going on, he was dumped unceremoniously on the floor by his fellow student and _right in front if General Theodore's face_.

He really should have heeded his instinct to run.

His Master had always been inexplicably emotional, but Kanda still flinched at the sight of the tears streaming down that whiskery face in _rivulets_ (no, I'm not exaggerating). The affectionate General had _hugged_ him in what was supposed a fatherly embrace, and had almost _killed_ him by cutting off his supply of oxygen in the process. He had followed it up with the most _bewildering_ speech Kanda had ever known, and somehow – just somehow – had ended up touching on the "ever-so-sensitive topic" of sexual activities between men.

…By which Kanda had reacted most badly to.

He blanched.

"Why the fuck are you telling me this?!"

The few words weren't said yelling, they weren't said screaming… no, Kanda had _shrilled_. A perfect imitation of a typical young high school girl in the face of a cockroach.

"But Yuu-kun, there's no need to be shy, I know all about you and that– "

He didn't bother listening anymore. He had long stormed out of the room, hands curled into shaking fists as he tried to look as calm as possible.

After that, Kanda had gotten extremely paranoid. Every little snap, every little footstep which sounded caused his heart to jump, and his sharp grey eyes intuitively darted to and fro in alertness. He had been so caught up in avoiding anything else, that he didn't notice anything until he had walked straight into someone else's back.

"Itai –!…"

"Oof –! Eh, Yuu? Is that you?"

Kanda had looked up then, blinking, taking in the sight.

"Lavi?"

He appeared worse for the wear. The redhead's one green eye was dilated as he wrung his hands, glancing here and there. His flaming mob of hair had been in a mess, almost as though he had ran his hands through it one time too many.

There was a pause as Lavi regarded Kanda similarly before launching into another one of his high-speed babbles, clutching at the swordsman's shoulders desperately.

" – oh God, you have no idea, everyone – even those I barely know of – they come right up to me to congratulate me! For no reason! And moyashi – Allen! He keeps smiling this freaky smile, gods Yuu, it's creepy – and then breakfast was sooo – then Krowly! Whaddaheck – "

Kanda's whirled up mind had tried very hard to process what Lavi said, and the constant shaking of his shoulders then didn't help at all. However, though a little slow on the uptake, he managed to realize something rather unnerving…

"Wait," he began slowly, his tone making Lavi stop abruptly, "y-you too?"

An emerald eye had immediately widened in shock.

"You mean –"

"– There you guys are!"

Interrupted, both Lavi and Kanda had turned around blinking, only to see a rather relieved Reever standing in the hallway. Lavi immediately shoved a weak grin on his face as greeting, only to have it wiped off when Reever pushed them to move hastily.

"Look, you guys don't understand," Reever muttered, obviously agitated, "You need to get out of the area and _fast_. Oh, and congratulations, by the way"

A frown had immediately marred Kanda's features.

"Congratulations for wha – "

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Targets sighted, initiating vice-grip, lock on.

_Beeeeeeeeep. _

"Oh shit," Lavi breathed, face contorting in horror as Kanda stoned.

For right in front of them with a maniacal gleam in the eye, a mean looking machine stood, undoubtedly the reason of Reever's distress. There was a "Komurin Mega Prototype 7" stamped across the robot's upper arm, something which definitely did _not_ bode well.

And it – for some reason Kanda definitely did not want to know – was _pink_.

_Hot_ pink.

Lavi had reacted immediately. As it was too close, his innocence wouldn't be all that useful against it. Thus, he settled for something which any sane person would do.

He ran.

With Reever diving to the side and out of the way, he had clutched onto Kanda's hand tightly, pulling him along as he fled.

And Kanda? His brain just got so jammed up that it had him rendered temporarily useless.

Komurin Mega Prototype 7, however, had just seemed to have other plans in mind. Its arms had shot out like slithering snakes, enclosing its firm grip around Kanda's ankles. His brain finally kick-starting then, Kanda had immediately been sent into a flurry of panic and utter chaos, and instantly heeded his first instinct to cling onto Lavi as though he was some sort of life-line. Of course, Lavi, being the good 'friend' that he was, was not about to let his friend go just like that.

And thus a tug-of-war ensued, with Kanda _right smack _in the middle.

"God dammit, let Yuu-chan go, you stupid robot!" Lavi yelled, mustering all his strength in pulling hard. The robot seemed to blatantly refuse, its grip only tightening, exerting much strength as well. Knowing full well how Komui's experiments worked in berserk mood, Lavi was definitely not going to leave Yuu-chan to that monster. Also, it was in nothing but childish stubbornness that he didn't let go in the pulling competition.

Of course, to the irritating on-lookers who had gathered, however, they saw – what with the way Kanda was clutching Lavi tightly and the way Lavi looked so determined – it as something else entirely.

Kanda, on the other hand, had only been only aware of his breaking/healing spine.

Dimly, he decided then that Komui was going to die rather horribly one of these days.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Five minutes later, Mugen was found drawn and ready, blade a shimmer of deadliness. His expression was set, and he was glaring, perhaps a tad more venomously than he used to.

He was _so_ going to kill Komui.

"I'm really sorry about this."

Kanda let a dark snort pass his lips.

_Yeah, __**right**__._

Komui, even without Kanda trying to decapitate him, was in a pretty sorry state. He had severe bruise marks and band aids stuck all over him, in courtesy of his sister, and his office was wrecked with the remains of a certain very pink robot from before. The door of his office was practically blasted off its hinges, with all fingers of accusation pointing to the really huge mallet in the hands of a panting red head.

All that and he still had the nerve to look at them in the eye.

"What the hell was all that for, damned supervisor?!"

Lavi chose that moment to collapse into a rather comfy-looking chair, wearily and exhaustedly, aiming a haggard glare at the supervisor.

"Yuu ain't the only one who wants to know what's going on, Komui. Why the heck was your robot," a wary glance at the heap of pink, "after _us_?"

"…Well," Komui gestured for Kanda to sit down, "I just needed to get the two of you in my office as quickly as possible."

Dangerous looks of 'It'd-better-be-worth-it's invaded the dark faces of both exorcists.

Komui sipped his coffee airily.

"You see…" a pause and a smile, "I have good news for the two of you."

There was an exchange of surprised looks between Lavi and Kanda, and it was clear that both were oblivious of what was to come next. However, the innocent expression soon molded into something much darker as apprehension took its place. Kanda's scowl deepened.

"Define '_good_'."

Komui was still smiling – that insufferable bastard – and if anything, it only widened. He made a great show of putting down his favourite mug onto his table, setting aside a few (thousand) pieces of stray paper, and clasping his hands together. When Kanda almost gave in to the urge to bash Komui's head open with Mugen's hilt, he spoke.

"The Black Order is 100 behind your relationship."

"– oh, so _this_ is what had you to send a freaking robot after us for and – …Wait, what?"

It took a moment for that to sink in, and when it did, blinking ensued in rapid succession.

"Also, I would just like to inform the two of you that you are hereby taken off my suspect list of 'Those-who-are-after-my-dear-sweet-Lenalee', and that the drills which were meant to deal with you under any circumstances have been put away after much consideration." A regretful pause before continuing.

"- wait, Komui, what d'you mean – ?"

"– Since you two are already in that kind of relationship, I no longer have any reasons to doubt you of chasing after Lenalee, especially you, Lavi."

There was a long, long bewildered silence.

"Um," said redhead blinked, scratching his cheek idly, "That's… nice to know?"

"So that means that all that's left is that accursed Allen Walker…" Kanda and Lavi noticeably winced at the evil tone of voice, flinching slightly at the menacing drill in their supervisor's hands. "One single move, dear boy, and you shall suffer the wrath of Komurin –"

"– Brother!"

The two teens cringed at that loud impact of heel hitting skull, and as the wood of the fallen door splintered even more. Lenalee frowned at the sight of her sniveling brother.

"Honestly…"

At last – it was surprising it even lasted this long - the already wearing thin string of patience snapped.

"Would _anyone_," Kanda raised his voice in annoyance, immediately getting everyone's attention. "Tell me what _exactly_ is going on here?!" Lavi, equally clueless, nodded grimly in agreement beside him.

Komui and Lenalee paused.

Looked at each other.

Arched an eyebrow.

Then laughed.

"Oh you two," Lenalee couldn't help but giggle, moving forward steer them out the door. "There's no need to keep it a secret anymore! Why not the two of you go discuss your future plans together? We _know_, and we _understand_."

"Know _what_, exactly?" Kanda tried to twist himself around to look at the girl, frown as prominent as ever. Why wasn't Lavi helping him?

"OI, Baka-usagi, what –?

"…Yuu… is it just me, or do you hear something?"

Giving Lavi a look, Kanda immediately jerked into alertness, straining his ears for sound. Nothing apparent, just the usual chatter of the science department, but then a queer noise caught him by surprise.

What the… footsteps? Someone was running towards…

"Lavi, you MORON!!"

All which happened thereafter happened simultaneously, loudly, chaotically. The series of unfortunate events were as listed:

1. The wall came crashing down.

2. A rather furious Bookman came flying in.

3. Lavi only had 0.23 seconds of looking horrified before he got royally kicked over the noggin'.

4. Lavi fell, spiraling over the floor upon the impact.

5. Lenalee gasped.

6. Lavi picked himself up, bristling.

7. A shouting match ensued.

"How many times do I have to tell you NOT to get attached, stupid apprentice?!"

Kanda blinked out of his stunned reverie.

"Attached?! What do you mean, 'ATTACHED'? I didn't DO ANYTHING!!"

"Don't start playing the fool here, Lavi, it'll only make things WORSE!"

"Make WHAT worse, goddamit, make yourself clear, Stupid Panda-Jiji!"

It went on and on, something about Bookmen supposing to have no heart, no attachments and all that crap. Kanda was having quite the hard time trying to keep up with things.

Although… as Kanda took in the infuriated look on Lavi's face, he couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. Perhaps finally, Lavi would get some sort of payback for the years of teasing he put Kanda through? Kanda may not have known exactly what was going on, but it sure didn't mean he wouldn't enjoy it.

Such a naïve little sadist. Too bad he didn't know what _cause_ and effect was.

Later, when Kanda deemed it fit to save Lavi (to make them quits. Lavi _did_ save him from the prototype), Lavi was in quite the black mood.

In the cafeteria, over a serving of soba and pasta – after Kanda decided to give up on Jerry, it seemed that there was a never-ending supply of hearts – Kanda couldn't resist asking the Bookman Junior a question, drinking in the sight of the bandages over the latter's face.

"I believe this is the first time I didn't have to play a part in destroying something?"

Lavi scowled darkly.

"Shut up, Yuu. Just shut up."

Kanda simply grinned.

It was nonetheless to say that the people around them in a 10.5 feet radius collapsed spontaneously.

It was found, said the matron who was rather ticked-off, that they were suffering from the aftermath of shock. From what, was not known. No one spoke about it because everyone insisted it to be a hallucination, despite the fact that there was an entire population of witnesses.

That and the entire science department was forced to work overnight for a series of 5 to 9 days to assist in the reconstructing of a certain part of the Order.

_Yep_. What a very queer day it was indeed. Then again, as the saying goes…

…there'd always be tomorrow.

-End Day 2-

* * *

A/N: o.o Okay, yeah. Poor things, I don't think anything's gonna prepare them for what's to come...


End file.
